Clarity
by LindseyBee
Summary: Borderline Personality Disorder: a chronic emotional disorder characterized by turbulent emotions and unstable relationships. Sufferers of BPD typically have an extreme fear of abandonment, which causes them to attach themselves to one single person and be unable to leave them, even in cases of abuse. Crane/OC
1. Prologue

The inspiration for it came from the song "Clarity" by Zedd. I may not be able to update this much, but I'll try my best. I really wanted to take a crack at a Crane/OC "love" story. Personally though, I don't believe that Crane is able to have a relationship that isn't abusive. So let me warn you now, this won't be a typical lovey-dovey story. Also it's rated "T" for now, but it may change to "M" later.

I strongly urge anyone who reads this to just google borderline personality disorder to see what exactly it is. It'll be described as the story progresses, but it's good to have some background information.

Enjoy. :3

XXX

_Borderline Personality Disorder_, Crane thinks to himself, in reference to one his favorite patients, Cassidy Matthews. _Characterized by turbulent emotions and unstable relationships. Typically a fear of abandonment. Self-harming behaviors are common. Often a confusion in identity is present. _He's had his eye on her for a while now, for sexual purposes mainly, but even he becomes lonely at times and craves some type of romance, typical or not. He's searching for the right _personality, _though. Obviously a dominant woman wouldn't suit him; _he _wants to be the dominant one, in any case.

_**She is a cutie**__, _Scarecrow hisses in his ear, _**probably good in bed, too. And not to mention that ass...**_

Crane smirks and closes Cassidy's file. Tomorrow he'll prescribe her prozac for her erratic mood swings, as well as take a deeper look inside that insecure little head of hers.

He's anticipating it.

XXX

Obviously that much hasn't happened yet, but reviews would still be nice. :)


	2. Chapter 1

First official chapter! Enjoy :3

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Crane or anything Batman-related, unfortunately. I only posses the rights to Cassidy Matthews.

XXX

Crane has an appointment with Cassidy the minute the office opens. It was easy to manipulate her into arriving at seven-thirty in the morning, after absolutely _assuring _her that she _needed _her medication ASAP. Cassidy seemed completely mortified by her disorder, although Crane wasn't quite sure why. He's going to find out though, per usual.

"Doctor Crane, your seven-thirty appointment is here," pipes in Katie Hayes through the intercom. Crane has always absolutely _loathed _his provocative secretary, what with her try-too-hard deep red lipstick and fake, ringlet-like ginger extensions. Katie would always flounce around him, dropping papers at just the "right" moment so that she could lean over and give him a show. It was pathetic how hard she tried. If anything at all, she would make a perfectly acceptable test subject someday.

"Thank you, Miss Hayes, please send her in," Crane answers passively.

Moments later, Cassidy enters his office, her cheeks flushed from the freezing cold outside. Crane smiles at her, and she grins back shyly. Her long blonde hair hangs just above her hips, which is a change from her usual pony tail. He likes it.

_**Something to pull on**_, whispers Scarecrow suggestively.

"Shut. Up," hisses Crane under his breath. Cassidy takes a seat across from him and raises an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" she questions.

"No," answers Crane quickly. He shuffles through the papers on his desk, eventually zoning in on Cassidy's file. "I informed you of your diagnosis in our last session, did I not, Miss Matthews?"

"Borderline personality disorder," says Cassidy bleakly. She glances down at the floor and shakes her leg lightly.

"Are you feeling anxious?" Crane adds.

"I..." Cassidy trails off, considering her words. She bites her lip gently before continuing, "My mother was borderline... she died by suicide."

_**Oh, a lip biter, **_Scarecrow cackles.

Crane ignores his indicative alias and replies, with an air of sympathy, "I'm sorry to hear that. My own mother died by suicide as well." Lie. Crane hasn't seen his mother in years; he has no idea what's happened to her. But he'll say anything to get inside Cassidy's head.

"Oh, Doctor Crane, that's awful, I'm so sorry," Cassidy apologizes, as though the entire made-up situation is her own fault. "If you ever need someone to talk to-"

"Don't worry about it, Miss Matthews. I'm the psychiatrist here," Crane interrupts with a friendly grin. "As for your condition... it is a chronic disorder, and it is quite complicated. However," he pauses, "it is certainly treatable, specifically with dialectical behavioral therapy and medication management."

"Where can I receive that type of treatment?" asks Cassidy interestedly.

"I could refer you to an outside psychiatrist and therapist," says Crane. Cassidy frowns, seemingly displeased with the idea. "Or," he continues, "you could continue medication management and therapy with myself. I've been trained in DBT therapy, but the decision is up to you."

"Oh, well, you're the best psychiatrist I've had," says Cassidy brightly. "And I wouldn't feel comfortable with switching doctors at this point, anyway..."

Crane chuckles internally. _Attachment issues_. He's already prepared himself for this particular answer, seeing as he's been treating her for nearly six months now. At first, he had pinned her as a frightened little girl, at least mentally, despite being about twenty years old. It's a symptom of her disorder, acting as a child stuck in a full-grown adult's body. She craves the affection and attention she never received when she was young, a common occurrence in borderline patients. But what had interested him the most was the intense fear of abandonment she'd described in multiple sessions. In the beginning, he had wondered how that fear would translate, had she become one of his test subjects. She'd probably react with a lot of sobbing... begging, too...

Lucky her, she fits his personality profiler. And she's cute. That would keep her safe, at least for now.

"All right then. For now I'll prescribe you ten milligrams of Prozac. It's an antidepressant that's often helpful in treating mood swings. Side effects may include nausea, loss of appetite, headaches, and drowsiness," Crane explains. He writes the prescription, then reaches into his back pocket and passes Cassidy a card. "This has my personal cell phone number on it, just in case you experience any side effects." He pauses. Cassidy looks in him with a slightly confused expression on her face. "Or if you'd like to have more _personalized_ sessions," Crane finishes.

"Oh," says Cassidy, taking the card. Her cheeks have flared tomato red, obviously out of flattery. She's smiling like a giddy little girl now, all traces of confusion erased from her expression. She bats her eyelashes a few subtle times before answering, "That sounds great, Doctor Crane. Thank you so much. I'll give you a call soon."

"I'm looking forward to it, Miss Matthews."

XXX

Reviews, anyone? :)


	3. Chapter 2

It didn't take very long from the time Crane gave Cassidy his personal number for him to receive a call. It's late the next evening, and absolutely depressing outside. Rain drizzles from the sky and freezes when it hits the ground, coating the roads in a thin sheet of ice. Crane stares out the window of his apartment, observing the scene. He likes the weather.

His phone begins to ring, and when he sees that it is an unknown number, he answers in a hurry, "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Doctor Crane?" says a shaky voice from the other line. He recognizes the tone instantly.

"Miss Matthews?"

"Oh, thank God. I had another episode," says Cassidy. She sounds miserable, unstable, and Crane senses that she's feeling impulsive as well. "I just wanted my brother to validate me. He never does." Her voice cracks, and Crane can literally hear her tears. "I needed him, I was so depressed, and it wouldn't go away. He told me to stop being overdramatic. I cut myself again," she squeaks.

"You sound very distressed. Can I ask how deep your cuts are?" asks Crane. He's been taught to treat borderline patients with validation and concern, especially in the midst of an episode. Normally, he wouldn't care very much unless he held a particular interest in the patient, typically for experimentation. But for once, the situation is much different.

"S-superficial," stammers Cassidy. "Do you have any appointments open? I mean, I understand if you don't, I'm sure you have a lot of patients and-"

"I've left my office for the night, Miss Matthews..." Crane hesitates. This is the perfect opportunity; she's distressed and needy, she'll be grateful to accept the care of anyone who's willing to offer. Scarecrow hisses in his ear, _**I hear reckless sex is a symptom, Johnny. **_Crane smiles in response. Of course he's going to pursue this. "But," he continues, "I could give you the address to my apartment, if you're comfortable coming here."

Cassidy answers without hesitation, "That would be great, Doctor Crane. But I don't want you to feel obligated-"

"It would be my pleasure," Crane interrupts.

Cassidy pauses. She's probably blushing. "All right, could you tell me your address?"

"216 Gotham Avenue, near the Narrows. Apartment number twelve," Crane replies. "I'll see you very soon, Miss Matthews."

XXX

Fifteen short minutes later, there's a knock at Crane's front door. He approaches the door with caution, expecting a mess of a woman to be waiting on the other side, but when he opens it, a pretty girl with her hair and makeup done quite nicely is there. The only abnormal-looking thing about her is the deep cut marks on her wrists.

"You dressed up to visit your psychiatrist, Miss Matthews?"

Cassidy's cheeks burn red. "I'm sort of self-conscious," she tells him, stepping inside. Crane shuts the door behind her, making sure to be subtle when he also locks it.

"I apologize for the mess," Crane says, leading her down the hallway. "I don't usually invite visitors over so impulsively."

"Oh, it's fine, you should see my house," replies Cassidy with a slight laugh. Crane stops when he reaches the living room and gestures to the couch.

Cassidy takes a seat. The couch is comfortable enough, but the apartment itself is not only untidy, but a bit small, even depressing. The whole setting intrigues her; she had expected Crane's home to be more lavish, considering his income.

"I'm sorry if this sounds rude at all, Doctor Crane, but, um, why do you choose to live so close to the Narrows? You could easily afford a place in the better parts of Gotham, couldn't you?" Cassidy looks up at him, and Crane raises an eyebrow. She assumes that he's offended, and babbles on apologetically, "I mean, you're a doctor. I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have asked-"

"No, it's a fair question," Crane interrupts. He's not at all offended, more intrigued by her bluntness. "I prefer to have an apartment further away from the population. It's quieter, more... private." He pushes his foot against the living room closet where he's stored all of his toxin and other suspicious items for the night, shutting the door tightly. He then settles down beside Cassidy, reaching toward her wrists. "Would you mind showing me your cuts?"

Cassidy plays with the ends of her hair and fidgets awkwardly. It's clear she's either embarrassed or nervous. "Yes," she answers softly. Crane takes her arm gently and examines the spots where she hurt herself. The cuts are quite deep, contrary to her saying they were "superficial."

"These don't look very superficial to me," says Crane, gently running his thumb across one of the more shallow marks.

Cassidy winces and responds in a bored voice, "If I don't need stitches, I consider them superficial."

Crane shakes his head. "Why did you cut yourself this time?"

"I was angry... invalidated. And something in my head told me I deserved it," Cassidy says softly, averting Crane's cold blue gaze.

"A voice?" asks Crane.

"Not _a _voice. _My _voice. It's not another person or anything..." Cassidy pauses and shakes her head slightly, allowing her bangs to fall in her face. "Do you know what I mean?"

_**You know what she means, Johnny? **_Scarecrow chuckles. His voice is softer though, more in the back of Crane's mind.

"That's very common," Crane assures her.

Cassidy sighs. "Thank you, Doctor Crane."

Crane smirks and touches the lower part of her knee gently, making small circles with his finger. He notices Cassidy's breath hitch and chuckles softly. "Jonathan is fine."

"Jonathan," mutters Cassidy, finally meeting his gaze. Crane shuffles closer to her, his hand rising up slowly to meet her thigh, and flashes a suggestive smile. "D-Doctor… Johnathan… did you always feel this way? About me?"

Crane pulls Cassidy toward him quickly, if not forcibly. "That depends on your reaction right now."

At first, Cassidy seems uneasy, but within moments, she's smiling in _quite _a seductive manner. She leans forward and kisses Crane full on the mouth, stopping only to play with the ends of his belt.

When they finally separate, Crane says to her, "Yes, I've felt this way the entire time."

XXX

Now I can finally get into the guts of the story! Review please. :3


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Batman or any relating characters. I only own Cassidy Matthews.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, the setting of this story is pre-Batman Begins.

XXX

Cassidy wakes early the next morning. She's draped in a long t-shirt with the name of a band she's unfamiliar with, her hair is sticking up at all ends, sleep stuck in the corners of her eyes. She makes her way to the nearest bathroom and stares in the mirror, rubbing her eyes and flattening her hair with her hand. Crane's nowhere to be seen, and she wonders where he's gone.

She recalls last night and a smirk curls along her lips. She never thought she'd be sleeping with her psychiatrist. She wasn't sure if she'd end up regretting it or not, but for the moment, she was content. Happy, even. The first glimpse of happiness she's experienced in a while.

She waits in the bedroom for another few minutes - her and Crane wandered into there at some point during the evening - before her impatience settles in, and she leaves the room on a search for her... doctor. She starts with the kitchen, where she spent some time in the night before (but not exactly for food-related purposes), then the living room, and lastly, the second bathroom. When Crane fails to appear, she turns her sights on an unfamiliar door that seems to be shut tightly. She presses her ear against the wooden frame, and hears the sound of murmuring within, but she can't make out the words. She turns the doorknob slowly, and the door opens with a moaning creak.

The muttering stops the moment Crane notices her entrance. He's positioned at a desk that's completely engulfed with various papers, none of which Cassidy can make out. The room is depressingly dim and eerie, but she smiles nonetheless. Even in spite of the displeased look on Crane's face.

"I'm sorry, was I interrupting someth-"

"I would very much appreciate it if you wouldn't enter rooms in my apartment without an invitation, _Miss _Matthews," Crane says sternly. Cassidy recognizes his sour tone, and flinches internally. Leave it to her to fuck things up so quickly. Stupid. Stupid. _Stupid_.

"I'm really sorry," she apologizes hastily. "I'm so stupid, I should've knocked. I'm sorry. Do you want me to leave?"

Crane heaves a sigh. "No," he answers, coming toward her, "but I did want to have a conversation with you about something specific."

Cassidy is suddenly filled with the utmost excitement. She grins so widely her jaw aches, her cheeks flushing scarlet red per usual. He's going to ask her out on the date, isn't he? For once, she's more than just a one-night stand, a whore to be thrown away the next day...

"It's research-related," says Crane with a tiny smirk. His response automatically crushes Cassidy's spirit; her smile falls flat, and her body wells with embarrassment.

Crane's reaction is quite opposite - he's pleased with the amount of control he already possesses over her. She'll make a fine companion, easily manipulated and wholly attached. And perhaps even an adequate test subject. They always do.

"Oh," replies Cassidy, trying not to appear crestfallen, "what kind of research?"

"My own personal research. I've been working on it for years," Crane explains. He steps nearer to Cassidy and takes it upon himself to brush her bangs from her eyes and tilt her chin forward, "But I suppose we could discuss it over coffee." It's not an offer, more of a statement. Even if she wanted to deny him, she felt as though she couldn't. But that wasn't a problem, at least not at the moment.

"Yes, of course," Cassidy answers, her excitement surging once again. "Let me get dressed and we can go. I know a really good coffee place."

XXX

The coffee house that Cassidy guides them to is too loud and bustling for Crane's tastes (and matter of business), so he directs them to a small, quaint family-run establishment in Gotham Square. It's much more his style, and Cassidy seems to be pleased with anything he suggests at this point. He likes that about her. Obedient and flexible.

"I'll order us coffee," Cassidy offers brightly. "How do you like yours?"

"Black with two sugars, thank you," Crane replies. As she retrieves their drinks, he wonders if he'll decide to use her as his subject. It's a likely occurrence, and it's not as though he's meaning to make her deranged... he's curious, really. And just the possibility of witnessing a person's rawest fears gives him a rush of pure adrenaline and pleasure. He thrives off fear; it's like a drug to him, and not one he's about to quit using.

_**I bet she has the sweetest screams**_, says Scarecrow. _**It's not to kill her, Johnny. It's just another show for us**_**. **

She probably does.

_**You DID get a glimpse of them last night, **_Scarecrow adds with a snicker.

Crane almost laughs, but Cassidy arrives back at the table and takes a seat across from him, and he smothers it.

"So, what's this research you were talking about?" she asks interestedly, nudging his drink across the table. "You said it's your own personal research?"

"Yes, I tried to bring it up at my workplace, but my boss was a bit... skeptical, to say the least," Crane explains, pausing to sip his coffee.

"Oh," Cassidy answers. She's a bit hesitant now, but still she pushes forward, "Why? I'm sure it's not illogical?"

"No, of course not," Crane replies. "However... it is research that I'd only like to share with someone open-minded for the time being."

"You think I'm opened-minded?" Cassidy inquires.

"I think you have many positive qualities, that being one of them," says Crane. His tone is almost sickeningly sweet, which is very much unlike him, but Cassidy eats it right up. He's easily able to please her cravings for affection and praise.

"Thank you," she says with a giggle, her cheeks ablaze. "Tell me more about your research. What's it for?"

Crane has already prepared for this question beforehand, so his answer comes smoothly, "Treatment for those suffering from PTSD, certain anxiety disorders, and phobias. A type of exposure therapy, really."

Cassidy leans forward. "Go on," she urges.

Crane chuckles under his breath and replies, "Better yet, would you like me to show you?"

XXX

Second update of the day! I'm on a roll. :3 Reviews would be nice. :)


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Batman-related.

Enjoy!

XXX

"Where are we?" asks Cassidy upon their arrival to Arkham. "I mean, I know we're at the hospital… is this where you conduct your research?"

"Precisely," answers Crane. "Stay quiet, wouldn't want to hospital guards to notice us…"

"Are you not supposed to be here?"

"My operation is not, strictly speaking, _legal_," Crane explains. He leads Cassidy to the back entrance of Arkham, glances around briefly, and then takes out a thick metal key and unlocks the door. He holds open the door for her, "Ladies first."

Cassidy blushes, despite the suspiciousness of the whole situation. "This is a bit secretive, don't you think?"

"I suppose," Crane agrees, directing her down the dark corridor. They pass various cells that have clearly been unused for years. The stench of chemicals reeks as they grow closer to their destination. "But you understand, don't you?" He stops momentarily and grasps Cassidy across the waist, pulling her close to him. "Don't you?" he repeats suggestively.

Cassidy feels his breath against her neck, and can't help but shiver. "Yes, of course," she answers instantly.

Crane smiles. This is almost too easy.

"All right then," says Crane, releasing her. Their final stop is atop a large metal balcony. Below them are masked workers, putting together combinations of several different chemicals. The stench is stronger than ever. Cassidy is tempted to cover her nose, but she hesitates, worried that Crane would find that offensive.

"This is where we make the medicine," Crane announces. He sounds very pleased with himself, but Cassidy feels a bit uncomfortable. She has to admit, this is quite a suspicious place to create medicine for the treatment of anxiety disorders.

"It's kind of dirty down here, don't you think?" says Cassidy anxiously. When she sees the slightly affronted look on Crane's face, she adds hastily, "Not that I don't approve of what you're trying to do. Exposure therapy for PTSD, anxiety disorders, and phobias, right?""

Crane nods. "That is what I'm trying to do."

"What exactly does the drug… _do_?"

"It allows the patient to be exposed to their fears and phobias in a controlled environment. Once the patient has conquered their fear in a safe way, they can overcome it."

_**Why don't you let her experience it for herself, Johnny? **_

_It's not the right _time_. Not yet. _

_**I'm getting antsy. **_

Cassidy nods in response to Crane's explanation. She seems somewhat more convinced. "And this drug is safe, right?"

Crane smiles. "Absolutely."

XXX

"Jason, he's _perfect_," exclaims Cassidy the following morning. She's on the phone with her elder brother, Jason, who coincidentally, is a criminal psychologist – similar to Crane, minus the medical degree.

"Not to burst your bubble, Cass, but weren't the last three guys 'perfect', too?" replies her older brother cautious. He's all too familiar with her sensitive disease –after all, he lived her for years—so he's careful not to offend her.

"_Thanks_, Jason," says Cassidy sorely. She's been twirling around her living room for the last ten minutes like an overjoyed little girl, she doesn't need his negativity.

"I'm just being protective of my little sis," teases Jason. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. He's great. A little eccentric in some ways… but great."

"What's his name again?" Jason inquires.

"Jonathan."

"Jonathan who?"

"Crane."

There's a long pause on the other line.

"Dr. Crane?" asks Jason slowly.

"Yeah, he's a psychiatrist. Why?" asks Cassidy, suspicious of the sudden hesitance in her brothers' voice.

"It's nothing."

"_Jason."_

Her brother sighs. "It's just, he works at Arkham, right? Well I did too, a couple years ago, d'you remember that? I worked _with _him, although he had a position above me… But anyway, I dunno, he just struck me as… odd. Cold, really."

"Someone's a bit _judgmental_," snaps Cassidy, a sudden defensive edge to her voice. Who does Jason think he is? He just doesn't want her to be _happy_, that must be it. Or he's jealous. Wait, that's clearly it, he's _jealous_. Doesn't want someone stealing his _widdle _sister away from him. Pathetic for a man in his twenties. "You're just _jealous_."

"No, Cass—"

"I don't want to hear it, Jason! God, you're such a fucking jerk sometimes!" she fires up. She realizes this is a part of her illness—the sudden incredibly defensive position, the name calling—but she can't seem to stop herself. "I hate you! You know that?"

"Cassidy," says Jason calmly, "please don't be so overdramatic. I'm not saying he's a bad gu—"

"OVERDRAMATIC?!" roars Cassidy. She absolutely _loathes _that word—that and "manipulative". "I'm not being fucking overdramatic, you asshole! Why do you have to constantly invalidate me? That's how Jonathan and I started spending more time together, you know. You made me fucking cut myself because you invalidated me. _You _made me. And I went to his house because I was having a meltdown and—"

"Cassidy, I'm hanging up now," says Jason simply.

"_FUCK _you," shouts Cassidy. She slams the phone on top of the receiver, nearly damaging it in the process, and proceeds to pace across the room, fuming.

Her brother can be so fucking _stupid _sometimes.

XXX

Reviews are lovely. :3


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